tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61130937528033752572024-02-02T04:21:14.691-05:00Young Black Women Determined to Live WellMeenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-2359207388407850922015-08-28T09:13:00.002-04:002015-08-28T09:13:18.765-04:00Get Familiar with these two Fumi's!<b><span style="color: magenta;">Hello Beautiful Butterflies!</span></b> How are you? As we leave the month of August and make our way to the beginning of Autumn, I know you all are working <span style="color: blue;"><u>smarter</u></span> than ever before, to make your dreams a reality. <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Don't give up! </span></i></b><br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><i>The universe always has an infinite number of ways to get you to your highest potential. </i></span>Sometimes, as I recently learned, we can be so fearful of what we don't want, that we don't see all of the possibilities available to us. I was so adamant about what I really didn't want to have to do, that it finally occurred to me: stop focusing on what you are fearful of happening, and start thinking in terms of what you can do to help yourself. This is where a connection to the internet can work wonders for a young woman. As I flat out googled what I needed, I found tons of people around the globe that were doing what could very well be a solid solution to my current concerns. I don't know what the outcome will be, but it's at least a place to start, and positively focus my energies. I am so grateful for my ability to think, research, and implement a plan of action, at times when I feel so powerless to life's unavoidable twists and turns.<br />
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As the title to this post suggests, I wanted to bring your attention to <span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b><i>lovely black women</i></b></span> from different parts of the world, who have lived vastly different lives and experiences. Each of them should be praised for their gracious efforts in sharing their knowledge and insights for other women to use in reaching their *Living Well life.* Ladies, please allow me the pleasure of introducing you to the youtube channels of <b><span style="font-size: large;">Free Spirited Fumie</span></b> and <b><span style="font-size: large;">Fumi Fashion and Beauty</span></b>! How delightful that their names are the same! They are both <b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="color: magenta;">beautiful</span> </span><span style="background-color: magenta;"><span style="color: yellow;">black</span> </span><span style="background-color: yellow; color: magenta;">women</span></span></i></b>, and <b><i>they are <span style="font-size: large;">loaded</span> <span style="font-size: large;">with wisdom</span> and <span style="font-size: large;">savvy tips</span> in<span style="font-size: large;"> navigating life</span></i></b>. Below are videos I particularly enjoyed watching. I urge you to go to their channels and have a look for yourselves! If you love their channels as much as I do, <span style="font-size: large;"><b>subscribe</b></span>, and be sure to <span style="font-size: large;"><b>like</b>.</span> <span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Supporting black women's efforts and <u>selectively choosing</u> to <u>expose my mind to uplifting words</u> these women offer, is nutritious to our hearts and minds ENJOY!</span><br />
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Fumi Fashion and Beauty's Sister 2 Sister Series: Staying Focused on your Goals (20s, 30s, and 40's)<br />
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Sister 2 Sister Series: The Power of Surrender</div>
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Free Spirited Fumie: Dealing with Sexism AND Racism at Work</div>
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Free Spirited Fumie: Stealth & Strategy for Life</div>
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KEEP MOVING FORWARD LADIES! and Like Free Spirited Fumie states, remain STEALTH. There is a reason why I am NOT concerned about the number of people who frequent this blog. The ones who are of like mind, will quietly find their way here. That's part of my strategy as well! :)</div>
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-23546978561411691452015-07-06T10:21:00.002-04:002015-07-06T10:21:32.628-04:00Studying Abroad: Covert Tricks and Strategies to Keep You Winning<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Greetings Ladies</i></b></span>,<br />
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I understand that quite a few of you are choosing to venture overseas through the respective study abroad programs offered at your schools or independently. I thought this post would be timely because when you study abroad, if you will be going along with other non-black female students, considering your living arrangements, you may encounter what I call covert tricks used by other non-black females (and sometimes black, although I have rarely heard this to be the case) while studying abroad. The absolute number one rule to follow is to put yourself first! I think the best way to speak on this is to tell of a few study abroad experiences I heard from fellow students, and speak about my own.<br />
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While in undergrad, I heard about some of the things done to my black female friends while they were away on study abroad trips that were frequented by a majority of the white students at their school. More often than not, the main culprit in covert tricks were white female students. These "tricks" were just another way of being passive aggressive. A frequent trick was to do things as a group, and deliberately not invite the black female student, or invite the black female student at the last minute, meanwhile everyone else seemed to have gotten the memo well in advance. Some black female students alluded to being treated as if they were the "mammy" of the group. The tag along "mom" that kept everything in order or held the purses, or took the pictures for everyone, basically the "help." If the black female student rejected the mammy role, she was considered a threat, and further shut out from group activities. This turned out to be really negative for some of my friends when they went on study abroad. However, many of them stated the locals did not exhibit the same type of behavior and when they spent their time meeting and getting to know the locals, their experience improved.<br />
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I studied abroad in London for a full semester. I was one of only 2 black girls on the trip. The other young black woman did not seem to embrace me early on despite my efforts to forge a bond, and appeared to connect better with the white female students, so I mostly kept to myself. I was cordial with everyone, but was also aware that their extension of inclusion was not being offered to me the way it had been offered to others on the trip. The other students were white. I was from a different school than the university that offered the study abroad program, so some students already new each other. However my <b>main point is this: Immediately upon arrival, the white students were friendly at the onset, but eventually broke away into their own social groups</b>. One way they did this, as I later found out, is they would go to dinner together, or to pubs, etc. and I would never know until after the fact. When they made plans to go anywhere outside of the city or the country, the email that was sent out somehow omitted me and a few other white male outliers in the group. By the time I knew of their plans, they had already travelled out of town for the weekend and Facebook updates would display pictures of their adventures. Thankfully, my experience with living on my own in a few cities where I had to create a lively experience for my own happiness and well being, helped me navigate what was happening, successfully.<br />
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<b>Strategy One: <span style="font-size: large;">Why am <span style="color: magenta;">I</span> here?</span></b><br />
I knew the majority of the other students had disposable income to spend it eating out every night, partying away getting drunk, and traveling to other cities. I, however, was not keen on spending my stipend on those things. Furthermore, I did not want to spend time trying to "get in" with people who didn't really value me enough to make sure I got the memo for their weekend travels or late night escapades. Instead, I focused on finding out about employment prospects in the city for Americans like myself, and networking my head off to make solid contacts. Have those business cards ready! Sounds like fun? Some may say no, but it was worth while to me. I landed not one, but two internships in my short time while there. I also knew I was there as a young single and attractive (I like to think so) black woman who was open to love. I even got encouragement from my mother to open my online profiles and change the city to my study abroad city. That is precisely what I did, and enjoyed every moment. I also joined a few meetup.com groups and penciled in their events into my schedule. In addition, every chance I had free time outside of class and my internships, I was not in that flat. If I had to study or read for class, I was out at a coffee shop, bookstore, library, park, or any establishment with wifi. When I wasn't studying, I was out and about exploring the city. Being in a city like London has so much going on, there is no excuse to be holed up indoors irrespective of the weather. I went to conferences, book signing events, clubs, museums, restaurants, shopping centers, festivals, you name it. Some I did with a few people on the program, many I did with new people I met in the city or while on dates, and a great many of them I did happily by myself (this proved very helpful in meeting other men as they were very interested in helping me with whatever I needed, or flirtatiously chatting me up.)<br />
<b><u>You <span style="color: red;">do not</span> <span style="font-size: large;">need</span></u> the study abroad group (and their covert tricksters) <i>to embrace you </i>in order to have an <span style="color: magenta;">amazing study abroad experience</span>.</b><span style="background-color: #d9d2e9;"> <span style="font-size: large;">You simply need to determine what will make the experience great for <b>YOU</b>, and proceed accordingly.</span> </span>I can only laugh at the perplexed look on some of the other students faces when I chimed in to our professors on Mondays about how much fun I had at a local event in the city over the weekend. It was as if the other students assumed I just stayed at home and did nothing given their disinterest in including me on their weekend outings. lol.<br />
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<b>Strategy Two: <span style="font-size: large;">Know <span style="color: magenta;">my way</span> around</span> the area</b><br />
I had never been to the city before. But, I knew it was great with public transportation. I could take the tube (underground), the bus, or a taxi. I went on the website for Transport for London and tried to get a good idea of the tube lines that ran close to where I would be staying in the city. I carried a mini map of the tube line and a small notepad with directions I had written down to be sure of where I was going. In my handwritten directions, I included buildings and sites that would help me be confident in finding certain destinations. Use Google Maps! Use your phone's GPS! If you're bold enough, you can always use the "cute lost girl" act to ask the handsome guy how to get to your destination as well. I also made sure that I new which buses had stops near to where I lived, and near to an area that I was familiar enough, to be able to walk the rest of the way home if I had to. As soon as I arrived, I purchased an oyster card (travel card to get around and easily pay for travel fare with the tube and buses) and a cheap cell phone. I also had a list of reputable cab numbers to call and ALWAYS had emergency cash on hand.<br />
While many of you may not have extended family in your study abroad country, it is pretty common for Caribbean or African young ladies to have relatives in Europe and other parts of the globe, particularly in the UK given the colonial history. As such, reach out to them before you go. They may provide another safety net for you as someone that you are tied to through familial bonds who can be a point of contact if there is any emergency or if you need to know how to get somewhere. I did this, and felt even more empowered, as this is a built-in network to your advantage. For those of you without family in your study abroad countries, check in with your professors, colleagues, or friends. Often, the professors we respect at our own universities will have colleagues they know in the city who would be willing to speak with you about your goals, interests while visiting the city, and answer any questions you have etc. The bottom line is <b>maximize your network through who you already know </b>(think: <i><b>six degrees of separation)</b></i>. Use your Facebook, or LinkedIn, or any other social network you frequent to help you with knowing your way around. Once I knew the city, no matter what happened, or what "trick" was pulled, I always had someone to call and a way to get back home to safety. <br />
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<b>Strategy Three: <span style="font-size: large;">Get <span style="color: magenta;">your money</span> </span>and<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: magenta;">budget</span></span> for the days you will be there, <span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">in order</span>. </b><br />
Some of you may not have to worry about having a budget. The rest of you should get an idea of the currency in whatever country you are traveling to. Unfortunately, the U.S. dollar is weaker than the pound in the UK, so it would be very easy to spend a lot more than you intended if you don't keep calculation of exactly what you are spending in American dollars. Again, this is something that is personal to each of you. <b>Step 1 </b>should help you figure out how to prioritize where to spend your cash to maximize whatever you are seeking. I knew eating out would be nice. However, I knew I could cook enough to last through the week, and pack my own lunches every now and then to have more money for doing fun social stuff in the city (this doubled as a great way to watch my figure). Some of you may not have any bills or major expenses to pay. However, others who do may consider subletting the apartment (if your lease allows) so that the monthly rent doesn't have to come out of your pocket. Call up your internet and/or cable provider to see if they will put you on the seasonal status (for however long you will be out of the country) and save expenses there. Prepay the expenses if you can for the duration of your study abroad so you can spend your energy fully present on your trip. A wonderful way to be budget savvy is to talk with locals on where to get the best deals on purchases like groceries. This also doubles as another networking opportunity.<br />
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<b>Strategy Four: Get your <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">health</span> and <span style="color: magenta;">body</span> in order and/or maintain it.</span></b><br />
Depending on where you will be spending your study abroad, this may not apply to you. However, if you are traveling to a more developed country, you may be able to enroll at the local gym for a reasonable price. I signed up at the local gym closest to where I lived and met lots of interesting people while there. I also did a search on natural hair salons in the area. I was able to meet some great women while getting my hair done, and scheduled to do fun social activities with them outside of what I planned for myself. Also, when you go out, make an effort to put your best foot forward in how you package yourself. It is to your advantage as a black woman in any country when you make an effort to present yourself as well groomed in a flattering and feminine way. <b>Smiling is key</b> here. I used this, as well as my <i>lovely American accent,</i> to my advantage because I knew people would be more open and welcoming to an American black woman with a gentle smile as opposed to whatever stereotypes about black women existed there.<br />
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<b>Strategy Five: <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">PLAN</span> fun </span>and<span style="font-size: large;"> adventure</span> into your schedule <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;"><u>every weekend</u></span>!</span></b><br />
If you are completely embraced by the people on your study abroad and are content with hanging out with them, great. If you are all too often singled out or uninvited with your study abroad group, take the time to research the fun and exciting things you can do while in the city on your own. Taking the time to plan at least one fun thing each weekend will lift your spirits and reinvigorate you for the next week. It will also demonstrate the reality that YOUR fun and happiness is within your control. Reach out and grab it!<br />
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I know that<b><span style="font-size: large;"> every country is different</span></b>. <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Take whatever you can apply and use it to <span style="background-color: yellow;">your own gain</span>.</span></i></b> Feel free to share your pointers for study abroad or how you navigated through some of the covert tricks you saw happening while on study abroad.<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-58704766685450980202015-06-26T21:43:00.002-04:002015-06-26T22:04:10.159-04:00Hypergamy: Young Black Women and a Simple Strategy to Start<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Hola Lovlies</b></span>! How are you all getting on? I take it very well, considering we do not waste time focusing on things that aim to impede our efforts toward Living Well! I always appreciate different forms of media incorporated in my posts. I think it makes things a tad more fun, and offers people a glimpse into the wealth of information available to us via the internet. Have a look at the video below. While the study focuses on "sex appeal" the same dynamics are at play in the real world regarding qualities that don't coincide with our physical appearance.</span></div>
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Here, the woman narrating her mate selection strategy seems to parallel what I believe many black women face in this country. Her final comment: "I guess this is... all that's left...okay, <b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm stuck</span></b> with 2" speaks volumes. She was stuck with 2 when <b>her number was 3, higher than his</b>. What is more, her match (another number 3) didn't seem to care to find her based on potential rejections he may have faced being a lower number. There is a high likelihood he may have chosen number 1or 2. However, there is an even higher likelihood he may have lucked out with a 4 or 5? Who knows?<br />
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I am certain many of you have read about or seen the article describing the unfortunate circumstances awaiting all black women in the United States who choose to marry down. While these articles are nothing to get worked up about for forward-thinking black women, their mention of <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">deliberately choosing to go against the grain and marry down resulting in burdensome financial consequences, is something to heed</span></i></b>. Guess what? Marrying up, or at your level, is something people all over the world have <b><i><u><span style="font-size: large;">quietly practiced.</span></u></i></b> Below is a clip from the first Prime Minister of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew, saying plain and clear what some are uncomfortable hearing:<br />
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As callous as it sounds, it's true. Marrying up or at one's level goes both ways. There is a reason why the black women in the article who are mentioned marrying down, often end up that way. <b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I believe they are strategically targeted by men who set out to only marry up</i></span></b>. Whatever is to become of our less well-off sistren? You know, the ones that are actually <u>at the same level as those men </u>who practice hypogamy? My point is, the men that marry up through black women, know exactly what they are doing. Therefore, it is, and in my opinion, will always be, <b><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">exponentially better for a black woman to marry up. </span></b></div>
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What does "up" look like today? Well, him having a degree is good. However, if that degree does not translate to <b><i><u>real, tangible, financial gain</u></i></b>... it's not marrying up. How about the family pedigree? Are his immediate family members in a healthy marital relationship? Grandparents? How about his Uncles and Aunts? What do they do? What are their values about <b>child rearing</b>, <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>financial investment and <u>inheritance</u></b></span><u>,</u> or educational attainment? How about the networks he and his family are able to access? Have these networks created opportunities for you? If you are in a serious relationship secretly daydreaming about eventually walking down the aisle, <b><i><u>y</u></i></b><i><b><u>ou should already have a few things gained</u></b></i> just from your proximity to his familial line. How about <b>his friends</b>? What do they do? <b>How have they improved your life</b> in some capacity? </div>
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What about the young black women getting ready to head off to an institution of higher education? This is a very simple example of the multiple ways you can position yourself to maximize your potential for marrying up:</div>
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I did a google search of highest paying graduate degrees. At least 6 of the top 20 listed all fall under the Engineering major. Petroleum Engineering held the top spot. I then did a search on top schools for Petroleum Engineering. As you can guess, quite a few are located in Texas, some in Colorado, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, California, and Louisiana. Now, armed with this information, I may choose to look at those specific schools to see where they rank in terms of the major I want to pursue, and take it from there. If you are out of school, and have already graduated, perhaps a job search for Petroleum Engineering in your state could reveal certain companies that hire Petroleum engineers. Where are those companies located? More importantly, how can you maximize your chance of crossing paths with Petroleum Engineers at that company? Befriending one, could open you to a whole lot more to choose from. </div>
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This is just one very simple way of strategizing to position yourself, that you could ,and probably should, use when choosing where you will spend the next few years of your life. Furthermore, it is super easy to do in the privacy of your own home. Also, financial capacity is clearly only one of many factors you must consider when deciding to marry. Even if he makes a sufficient income, his values which will determine how he spends or invests his money matter a great deal. Does he know how to invest his money? And if he doesn't, does he know where to go to get that help? </div>
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In closing, all of us as young black women should be doing things like this on the sly. I guarantee you that innocent "hang-outs" with friends, or people from work, etc. by other groups of non-black women are really the same thing I laid out in the strategy above. Do some brainstorming in your free time and map out a few different strategies that are better tailored to your needs. I hope this helps get the juices flowing! </div>
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-73041995047168774712015-06-13T18:21:00.000-04:002015-06-13T18:21:22.555-04:00Pressing Forward Lovlies!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello Lovelies!<br />
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I haven't written a post in a very long time! I hope for the few that continue to peruse the older posts, you are able to walk forward with timeless, helpful, and life enhancing information. I have accomplished some major goals in the time since I last wrote, and am opening a new chapter in my life.<br />
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Isn't it wonderful how when you feel you've grown and mastered one stage of life's journey, a multitude of events occur to shift you into a different vantage point, that unwraps another layer to your purpose on this Earth, and you become the student once again. At times, it's uncomfortable and outright intolerable. Other times, usually when you accept things as they are and choose to move forward, while trusting that you are still on track, do you begin to see all of the new possibilities. Then it becomes a refreshing and welcomed change.<br />
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In my efforts to manifest a goal, I encountered what seemed to be setbacks and stumbling blocks. However, after taking some time to really slow down and see the bigger picture, I am aware that at times I got caught up in the finite number of ways I could think of to get where I wanted, while completely forgetting the power of the Creator and universe, which has an infinite number of ways to get me to the same goal. Furthermore, slowing down pushed me to re-examine why I wanted that particular goal. Was it still realistic? Was there a better way? Ultimately, I got what I wanted. However, no longer attached to the outcome, I realized there was an even better way to manifest what I truly desired, such that I may reach my goals at a higher vibration. Simply put, I am choosing to move in another direction. Scary may describe how I feel about doing something new, but somehow I know it's going to be better in the long run.<br />
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As I work toward my dreams, I encourage all of you young bw to do the same. Several BWE bloggers that have espoused valuable analysis and forethought toward living the best life we can as young bw, have highlighted a number of things happening in the news or mainstream media recently. Keep pressing forward! Remain stealth. Seek out ways to set yourself apart from the herd. How can you assist yourself in creating multiple streams of income? How can you increase the chances of you surrounding yourself with quality men and women that will propel you into networks that will move you ahead? How can you position yourself so that when opportunity comes, you will be ready and available? What skills do you lack, or need to improve? Whatever the case, remember that there are an infinite number of ways available, to get you to the next level you have set for yourself. You can have it! Believe it, and then let go as if it has already been done. Hard work is a given. Embrace it. It builds confidence and allows for better enjoyment when the time comes to reap your rewards.<br />
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All the "powers that be" that conspire to hinder,confuse, erase, and distract bw, young an old, the world over, cannot stop you from getting yours! Keep pressing forward ladies. I'm in it with you!<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-73042197321892269592014-07-24T07:26:00.001-04:002014-07-24T07:27:14.609-04:00For all the "Natural Haired Belles" who revert to Perming their hair.Hello Lovelies,<br />
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This comment will be short and direct. I am a natural haired woman with the kinky coily texture that comprises the majority of people who are of African descent. I do not take kindly to women who come up to me, remark at the length of my natural hair, and say:<br />
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"I just couldn't do it": (in other words, they stopped using chemicals to straighten for a short while, got frustrated, and went back to perming).<br />
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"I just couldn't manage it/handle the length/etc." (in other words, they were not willing to take the time and invest in their hair, so they went back to a "quick fix" and permed).<br />
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Whatever, the case may be, don't explain why. Just do it quietly and fall into obscurity. Why you ask? because natural haired women like me are not having problems with our length at all. There are some of us out there who have no issue with taking our time on our hair, detangling, washing, moisturizing, etc. In fact, those of us who are at longer lengths have fairly simple regimens, styling options, and maintenance practices. Perhaps you should ask for our advice rather than dragging our hair through the mud by saying the very same things that contribute to why our hair has never had a real chance of acceptability in mainstream society: Because we who grow it, show open disdain and impatience for it. Thus, why should anyone else give a d*** about being accepting of our hair?<br />
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Think about this trend young bw are posting on youtube: Natural to Relaxed. Over and over again, you hear the same thing: as their hair grew longer, they just couldn't bother to put in the time to do it. Hmmm like we just couldn't bother to put in the time to working out, or to improve our social lives, or dating lives, or enhance our careers, or saving up to move out of a poor neighborhood. Yea, seems pretty common to me, that it sounds like another cop out. You can disagree with me if you want. But like it or not, Natural haired black women who proudly display the texture of their hair with pride and refrain from calling their hair "The Struggle" do more for our "image" in leaps and bounds than women who have been relaxing for ages.<br />
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I'm finished ranting.<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-84634857063970858482014-06-03T20:22:00.001-04:002014-06-03T20:22:14.294-04:00The Grass Being Greener on the Other SideGreetings Butterflies!<br />
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I trust all is well and underway for each of you in creating the living well lifestyle you desire. I read a recent post on Beyond Black & White Titled: "Shore to Shore: Is Dating for Black Women across the Atlantic Really that Different? (Find out from Someone Living There)"<br />
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In the first paragraph the author states:<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">"The eccentric, open-minded and tolerant reputation of the British is, in general, accurate...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else. "</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">I beg to differ. Being approached, asked on a date, or simply being able to have a nice conversation in the initial stages of attraction is more likely to occur in Europe rather than the USA. I would go so far as to say the online dating in Europe (UK inclusive) is better than several states in the U.S. While U.S. dating for Black women does happen, the ease at which it happens is not the same as what I can attest to experiencing in the UK.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">I am not denying the reality of what this author experienced. However, some of the commenters made a lot of good points about how the Black women in the UK and by extension black women in Europe may hold the key to having better luck. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">One commenter spoke about their observations as an outsider living in London for a few years. Many of the observations they stated about the black women who were partnered and the black women who were not, ring true to what I saw. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">You are free to read the article if you choose. However, I hold steadfast to the realities of more than enough black women from the U.S. or abroad who have gone to Europe and found love with the quickness! If not love, they certainly were not wanting for dates. Ladies, if Europe is in your heart as one of the potential places to meet men who are attractive and who value your features as a black woman, do not let this post get you down. A lot of the headaches black women in the U.S. face (unwillingness to challenge and fight back against the denigration of our image, over indulgence of denigrating music that perpetuates our erasure, and the general stigma of being associated with bm who the world over have not done well by their group) are what black women in U.K. face. Perhaps the author should take a page out of our book, and reinvent herself as a tourist in her own city. Play the part, act like one, dress like one (the brits in my opinion wear too many dark colors, and girls are rocking the very non-feminine androgynous look), smile at the non-black guys, flirt things up, etc. One last thing, you ladies who are already across the pond have a much more affordable plane ticked to travel around Europe. A flight from US to UK is always over 1000K. Take advantage of it. There are certainly other places to find men in the entire continent that love you just the way you are. Till next time Lovelies!</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #050608; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-71654750589324850792014-04-19T18:03:00.003-04:002014-04-19T18:09:47.538-04:00Strategies to Enhance Visibility on Campus: YOUNG BW FRIENDLY!<br />
Hi Lovlies! I decided to post a comment made on the blog: Black Women's Interracial Relationship Circle. The article addressed the state of young black women on college campuses. I am going to try and add more things to this piece with time but decided to post in a hurry. Please take what you can use and discard the rest. Any questions, feel free to send them my way in comments.<br />
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This post is something I can definitely relate to as I attended a PWI and could not for the life of me figure out how to break into the general student body. Granted, my experiences are mine alone, but I guarantee there are a great number of black girls dealing with this in college. I tried several things to try and break into the mold:<br />
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1) I would have my dining hall dinners alone in the hopes of meeting other students and striking up random conversation.<br />
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2) I would do some of the social events my school would routinely email us through the listserv about what was happening on campus<br />
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3) I would make it a point to sit next to people I did not know, particularly non-bm and strike up a conversation about interest or class in general.<br />
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4) I would show up to off campus parties with a close girlfriend that also lived off campus and was rooming with other girls (non-bw).<br />
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5) I would hang out in the library on my own, or in the student union where I knew other people would be.<br />
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6) I would show up to the social nights at the local club (on-campus) when they had Salsa Night and Techno night. Nevermind hiphop night because I would be rejected and offended all the time lol. miss me with that.<br />
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7) I would try to hang around the law school on campus (they weren't too hung up on the interracial thing as some of the undergraduate non-bm would appear in my opinion.)<br />
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8) One night, I was bold enough to dress up and literally walk around each dorm to the parties on campus on a Friday and literally walk in (without knowing a soul lol) and I got plenty of male attention from the non-bm.<br />
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All in all, I made an effort. I did not have much luck despite my efforts though. Here is the take-away for me or what I think may have been a better strategy if I could do it again:<br />
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1) Do not immediately involve yourself in the "black" things/clubs. Because I did not know how to get past this racio-misogynistic barrier that seemed to only leave me out as a black woman, I naturally went where it seemed I would easily be accepted. I was a leader in the clubs and spent a lot of time around the black students. However, this only remains pleasant if you accept the invisible status. Once you start to show hints that you will date outside your race, you become outcasted. If you only cultivate relations with the black students, once they leave, it is hard to formulate bonds with the non-black students as time goes by. Everyone starts to have their "clique" and don't feel the need to introduce a newbie.<br />
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2) Do everything you can to find one or two hobbies or interests that line up with meeting potential suitors and friends. I started rock climbing toward the end of undergrad. Tons of opportunity right under my nose, yet I knew nothing about it until I actually went out and sought it myself.<br />
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3) Try to find a likeminded friend. I had two girlfriends that really made my time in undergrad enjoyable. They were just as open to new things as I was and provided a great tag along to social events where you might feel funny being the only bw and somehow feel strange, while the "black dude" seems to always be considered "cool" lol.<br />
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4) Do not acknowledge bm on campus if they do not acknowledge you. In other words, your concern as a black girl on campus is your well-being separate and apart from the general body of bm. It may sound crass, but once you put them on ignore, and do things for your sole happiness, fulfillment, and upward mobility, you reap the benefits as being better accepted in the general student body. In my opinion, the bm on campus were in many ways an obstruction from bw being apart of the social body of the school. Once you removed the undeserving bm from the equation, others started to embrace. Sounds weird, but I believe there is some major truth to this.<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-25621891293082206082014-03-06T05:39:00.002-05:002014-03-06T05:39:33.242-05:00Reality Check and Necessary Reminder!Hello Lovelies! As a head's up, this video is about 30 minutes long. Should you have 30 minutes to spare, I encourage all to have a listen. No need for much elaboration, she hits all major points. Her Youtube Channel is also quite informative with lots of helpful information in our quest to become more evolved as young black women. Enjoy!<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-63652878213568530612014-03-02T21:06:00.002-05:002014-03-02T21:06:58.620-05:00Young BW: 30 is NOT the new 20Greetings Lovely Young Black Women Determined to Live Well! I certainly don't intend to wait a long period between posts, but I won't post until something really resonates with me. Given the focus of our audience being young black women, I listened to this TEDTalk by Meg Jay: Why 30 is not the new 20. For my young women who are over 30, take what you can use and pass along the rest to a 20 something. Enjoy!<div>
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Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-64689498853408310482014-01-01T14:47:00.003-05:002014-01-01T14:47:44.445-05:00Welcome to 2014!!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Welcome to the new year!!!! I don't know about you lovely ladies but I am feeling a special energy walking into this new year. I have many new goals I have been carefully molding with each passing day, ensuring that I do at least one thing towards achieving them. I also am ever hopeful and determined to create the life I desire for myself, and quietly make them a priority. Sometimes as a young black woman, when I have openly spoken about my future wishes, others have been quick to dismiss them by saying "I'm young, and have plenty of time to do it all." I know most mean no harm in saying this, but I will continue to cling to my own knowledge that time waits on no one and once it is gone, there is no getting it back. Keep on with the keeping on and remain stealth as a black woman. Several bloggers have continued to post precious information to help us move forward in our lives! Grab what you can use, put your needs first, and get going. </i></span><br />
<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-2745262047915950562013-11-03T12:27:00.000-05:002015-06-27T11:45:44.346-04:00Letting Go is Easier when you have OPTIONS and can see it.I watched this video:<br />
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Then I thought about the current state of young bw and relationships leading to marriage. While I am glad many bw in the US have gotten the memo that they are free to be with any person they choose regardless of skin color, ethnicity, etc. and that men of various hues desire them as mates, there is still the annoying problem of our collective image in this country.</div>
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Let's take a trip down memory lane:</div>
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I thought about a past relationship I had, and while he is and was not on the level of men I date today, I remember the thoughts I had at the time which contributed to why I remained entangled with him for so long. I didn't feel like I could get any better. Not that I felt there was something wrong with me per se. It was that I didn't see anyone else in my immediate sphere who fit the physical and intellectual threshold, show interest in me, which would have allowed me to move on faster. I knew my circumstances at that time would have me single and lonely for a while. Looking around, many attractive and intelligent black women weren't paired off or getting courted. Furthermore, the ones who were involved often dated bm that were lower in status and class than themselves. Attempts to date outside of your race were stigmatized heavily, such that being approached and courted rarely if ever happened when it came to non-bm. I was not going to lower my standards, but I feared the end of a relationship like the plague. While I clung tighter to something I knew wasn't much, it still seemed better than having nothing at all. I also knew he had more options to move on from me than I could count on both hands. Long story short, exactly what I had feared transpired. I dated sporadically after him, but knew that he dated incessantly after me. My point is, things were not in my favor no matter how much I tried to shift them that way. I threw the towel in for a while and tried to focus on other things to keep me busy. I moved around and things seemed a little better. However, I struggled with letting go because that was the closest thing to a real romantic relationship I had had for a long time. </div>
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Fast forward for me just a little bit to get to the second point: <br />
I spent some time across the pond and for the first time, felt like I had major options. Felt like there was nothing to worry about if this date didn't work out, or if I wasn't his type. I didn't lean on that familiar worrisome crutch because, ALL TOGETHER NOW: I HAD OPTIONS! And these options were real. I was approached, I was met with eye contact instead of a quick glance and averted eyes. There is nothing more freeing to a woman, especially a young bw from the US, than the knowledge that you have options AND concrete examples in everyday life showing you those options are indeed real. You begin wanting more for yourself, holding your head up higher, tolerating less and less nonsense. Why? Because you know you have options AND you've seen it. I know there are some bw on the internet who say that going across the pond isn't necessary, when you can find someone in the US. I know they say the grass is not always greener on the other side. But ladies, I really don't think those women are hip to what is really happening to young bw in the US. I am happy for the ones getting engaged, meeting that special someone, etc. But I also think about the rest of us. Those numbers of interracial marriage for bw are increasing slowly. Our clocks (for those of us who want to create a family with children) are clicking. The collective image isn't doing us too much better even though gains and improvements have been made with media showcasing accomplished and attractive bw. At the end of the day, don't rule out the rest of this Earth. I thank God for having an Earth this large with people who haven't been exposed to the destructive images I have seen here in the US. I am grateful there are entire cultures that are not bent on beating me down in spirit as I climb higher. Whatever your future plans, get out there and attack it with fervor. </div>
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Now I would like to share this video of a very inspiring blogger who gave me that extra nudge to go across the pond when she posted this video:<br />
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Enjoy your week ladies! </div>
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Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-72294190019499751912013-05-10T09:02:00.001-04:002013-05-10T13:57:52.262-04:00Excellent Reading and a Reminder!Greetings Ladies! I saw another GEM of a post by the blogger Khadija from Muslim Bushido, and would like you all to take a moment to read it when you have the opportunity. I did not know Jessica Alba's husband had a black father who was a famous actor. The text of the post is essentially what many long time readers of BWE blogs have known and come to agree with. However, I think of major significance are the images to back up the words. Sometimes people have to see things pointed out to them for it to TAKE! Till next time my Lovelies!<br />
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<a href="http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2013/05/follow-money-and-resources-trail-part-2.html">READ KHADIJA'S POST HERE</a>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-80846846347796348732013-04-11T23:54:00.001-04:002015-06-27T12:03:07.611-04:00Black Women are NOT a MONOLITH and that is OKAY!Hello my lovely ladies determined to live well and for many of you, already on the path of living well. I wanted to do a fun post to demonstrate how Black Women across the globe are not a monolith. I hope you enjoy!<br />
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and the BEST part is, all of the videos I have posted do not even scratch the surface of how varied and diverse black women can be!</div>
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-48692096825113044182012-12-22T15:04:00.002-05:002012-12-22T15:04:40.134-05:00Go Where You Can Be Seen!Hello my Lovely and Elegant Young Black Butterflies Determined to Live Well! I hope you all are taking the time to enjoy the Holiday Season! I sometimes frequent other blogs and find little pieces of information that reinforce what we advocate at this blog. The information can be used in ways to help many of us continue to strive for a Living Well life, so I felt compelled to share it with you all. While visiting the following blog, I read this useful post:<br />
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<a href="http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/12/think-about-where-you-live-and-work.html">The Rules Revisited</a><br />
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I was once again reminded how important it is to consider how the area you live and the place you work can help or hinder your social life. This includes being able to get out there and meet both men and women. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO my darlings! Get out there and<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b> let yourself be seen.</b></span> This also applies to where you choose to be seated in any social setting. How many men are able to see you if you choose the seat way in the back or in the corner. Try sitting in the front or middle of the establishment where there is very little to block the line of sight of people entering the building. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but doing this a few times will help. Slow things down a bit as well. Rushing to check your phone every so often, wearing headphones, etc. make you seem unapproachable for potential friends or romantic interests.<br />
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This part of the post forced me to evaluate my own habits that could use slight improvement:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">"If you spend an hour a day on your laptop at home rather than in a coffee shop or some other public place because none are convenient to you - force yourself out of the house."</span></i></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now, how many of us are guilty of being on the laptop for longer than an hour at home? I know I am. I plan on frequenting a few different coffee houses in the near future to maximize my potential for meeting new people as well. Check out this blog when you get the chance. Though it is not geared toward a readership of predominantly young bw, there are a few gems of advice any woman can use as well. Take special care of yourselves Lovelies and stay the Angelic Young BW Determined to Live Well that you are! Ciao!</span></span>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-13375202750950249612012-11-30T01:04:00.003-05:002015-07-06T11:33:17.225-04:00Listen to your feelings, it may be time to step outside of the Safe Zone.<i><b>Greetings to the ever<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> Angelic Young BW Determined to Live Well</span>! </b></i>I thought about something this evening and wanted to share:<br />
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As I am sure many of you can agree with, the circles in which many black women spend their time are generally all black. If you observe close enough, the girlfriends tend to be all black as well. I don't find anything wrong with this as it takes time to develop a friendship. Dismissing what many have found to be a solid support system of friends is very risky. All people need support from friends in life. Without it, we would lose the spark and desire to keep going. However, for some young bw determined to live well, their group of girlfriends may not be interested in socializing in a way that allows her to meet different people, or different men (wink* Wink*).<br />
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Things usually look like this:</div>
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While she secretly feels like this: "Hmmm...there are so many cute guys here I could be getting to know right now...but if I leave the group it is going to be obvious...and if they realize who I'm checking out (the cute non-bm over there), they would most certainly have 'something to say' about it..."</div>
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Meanwhile she wishes her public outings looked like this:</div>
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Maybe you want a more diverse group of people in your sphere, or you want an even distribution of men to women in your outings. The primary difference in these images are the inclusion of men in social circles, and people from different backgrounds or ethnic groups than yourself . I think you will also notice that when people of other racial/ethnic groups go out, there is a mix of men and women. If not, a conscious effort is made to mingle with members of the opposite sex by all groups. This seems to have grown very rare with the groups of black women I have seen while out.</div>
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Dropping your girlfriends and going it alone is quite unthinkable to many. Fear plays a large part in things remaining as they are. <b>However</b>, <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">if you have ever spent time with a group of girlfriends in a public setting of many eligible men in the room, some of whom are a different race than yourself, and felt uneasy about getting up to mingle </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. . . </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">or if you've ever spent the entire night in the same area of ________ (insert any establishment with a large concentration of single men and women), speaking only to your girlfriends, simply to end the night without having met one new person </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. . . </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">or if you went home thinking you dressed up for what could have easily been a girls night <u>at home</u></span></i>, <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">you need to listen to what your feelings are telling you.</span></b> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Step outside of the safe zone</span></b>, and <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">seek out women who share similar desires as yourself.</span></b> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>They are out there</u>. </span></b>Finding them takes a little more work, primarily because of the racio-political dynamic that exists in the country concerning Black women who have interests that "black people/ black women are not supposed to do." BUT! It is indeed possible and just one more step that could bring you closer to <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b><u>living well</u></b></span>. Remember to believe in yourselves ladies. You can do it!</div>
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Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-73255584989246736572012-11-08T04:52:00.001-05:002013-04-12T07:19:39.539-04:00Power in the Pretty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Black women should wear makeup that flatters their features a majority of the time. Black women should also maintain a great skincare regimen that has demonstrated excellent results within the first month of continuous application. Black women should take the time to find and recreate hair styles that flatter their facial features. In many ways, I am preaching to the choir in this post. I have encountered many <strike>excuses</strike> reasons given by black women for not wearing makeup, and not daring to spend a little more on a quality skincare line formulated for their needs. Styling of our hair can take many forms. However, I have witnessed both natural and relaxed women who clearly are not willing to put effort in finding the right style to fit their face rather than the latest "trendy" styles. Some of which, come off as harsh when balanced against the woman's complexion and features. In response to the reasons I hear for not making a real effort, I can only continue to advocate that every single black woman is different in her own way. Black women are not a monolith in any sense of the word. However, I do believe collective image of a group can help or hinder you as an individual who is categorized within that group. Doing the above mentioned things don't hinder most women who are living in the Western world. So...by deliberately opting out of these practices, I feel confident in concluding, it further hinders the ascension of Black Women's collective image. </div>
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If you are in any way conflicted by what i have just said, I encourage you to read the blog: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"The Sojourner's Passport"</span></b> and pay special attention to the <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Beauty as a Weapon"</span></b> category. <a href="http://sojournerspassport.com/category/beauty-as-a-weapon/page/3/">Beauty as a Weapon</a><br />
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Beauty as a weapon in the figurative sense is where I would like to focus. While reading the blog, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Black & Femme</b></span>, I had the pleasure of watching this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izfAvwz6DD4">video</a>. The young woman in the film decided to test the claims of a study on how women who wear makeup and dress femininely are received by men, compared to women who do not wear makeup and dress with little care for how clothes fit their body. The results are quite telling.<br />
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In addition, there is a three part series on the Psychology Today website, that touches on the importance of attire in commanding power. In <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-image-professor/201001/2010-resolution-dress-power-player-part-i">Part 1</a> , <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-image-professor/201002/2010-resolution-dress-power-player-part-ii">Part 2</a> , and <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-image-professor/201002/2010-resolution-dress-power-player-part-iii">Part 3</a> , the author explains topics like choosing the right color, fabric, fit, hairstyle, accessory, etc. to help with commanding respect and power in the corporate world. The examples and images used are of caucasian individuals. However, the same can be said about black women of various skin tones, sizes, and shapes. For example, one of the major things I practice is wearing colors that are complementary to my skin color. I stay away from dark, somber colors like black, gun metal gray, navy blue, or dark brown because in general, they do not complement my complexion as well as lighter, brighter, or jewel tone colors. If I must wear something dark in color, like a skirt suit, the blouse worn underneath the blazer is going to be in a complementary color to my skin color. The same method can be used when purchasing a scarf for the fall and winter seasons. A black scarf may be just as warm as a pink or ivory scarf, but the pink and ivory scarf are going to do more for my skin color and enhance my beauty.<br />
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As an example I am going to use Kelly Rowland to show a comparison of how certain colors complement or do nothing at all for brown skin. The first images are of Kelly wearing darker somber colors:<br />
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<a href="http://www.pokerpurist.com/uploadedImages/bettingpro/NewsImages/289263_kelly-rowland-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.pokerpurist.com/uploadedImages/bettingpro/NewsImages/289263_kelly-rowland-5.jpg" width="208" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"></span></a><a href="http://imstars.aufeminin.com/stars/fan/kelly-rowland/kelly-rowland-20070721-286749.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://imstars.aufeminin.com/stars/fan/kelly-rowland/kelly-rowland-20070721-286749.jpg" width="213" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq6Pxw63rfdm3Wz1aLlzxWwOjbRjIOIV-b_gPfqs19YpFNbsoDKDRXFy3BUrwi_hAvy3BMGy4NIld6Zw1IE1R63PVSu7xRJxX4ndapZ9kaGxGAWKYBVZ7LpLqBbB06Ar3tCvijyAvCc1g/s1600/kelly-rowland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq6Pxw63rfdm3Wz1aLlzxWwOjbRjIOIV-b_gPfqs19YpFNbsoDKDRXFy3BUrwi_hAvy3BMGy4NIld6Zw1IE1R63PVSu7xRJxX4ndapZ9kaGxGAWKYBVZ7LpLqBbB06Ar3tCvijyAvCc1g/s320/kelly-rowland.jpg" width="225" /></a> <a href="http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Kelly+Rowland+Clothes+k2EMrfPwkqql.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Kelly+Rowland+Clothes+k2EMrfPwkqql.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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As always, her makeup and hair look beautiful. The silhouette of the longer grey dress is very flattering to her shape. However, take a look at images of Kelly when wearing a bright pearl necklace while still wearing black:</div>
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A little better than opting to go without a necklace like the first set of images. The pearl necklace brings the focus directly to Kelly's face and create a pleasant contrast. The same strategy of bringing attention to the face can be attempted through scarfs of pretty pastel and jewel toned colors. Now, look at images of Kelly wearing colors that flatter her skin color:</div>
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<a href="http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/icwales2/sep2011/2/4/kelly-rowland-321880827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/icwales2/sep2011/2/4/kelly-rowland-321880827.jpg" width="400" /></a><a href="http://www.ruedechic.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Kelly-Rowland-in-orange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.ruedechic.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Kelly-Rowland-in-orange.jpg" width="124" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2012/02/07/4/335/3355655/0aff9f06d01c162b_Kelly_Rowland_s_Tangerine_Makeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2012/02/07/4/335/3355655/0aff9f06d01c162b_Kelly_Rowland_s_Tangerine_Makeup.jpg" width="300" /></a><a href="http://o.aolcdn.com/dims-shared/dims3/MUSIC/thumbnail/280X390/quality/90/http://o.aolcdn.com/os/music/artist/wikipedia/kelly-rowland-13-2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://o.aolcdn.com/dims-shared/dims3/MUSIC/thumbnail/280X390/quality/90/http://o.aolcdn.com/os/music/artist/wikipedia/kelly-rowland-13-2012.jpg" width="286" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://fashionbombdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Kelly+Rowland+Edition+Georges+Chakra+Front+B7eMBm3YNcvl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://fashionbombdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Kelly+Rowland+Edition+Georges+Chakra+Front+B7eMBm3YNcvl.jpg" width="265" /></a><a href="http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/9276235-DSC_9078.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/9276235-DSC_9078.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://blu.stb.s-msn.com/i/71/1BAC949F7ED151562CD0925061DA_h400_w300_m2_bblack_q100_p100_cEsTrapkI.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://blu.stb.s-msn.com/i/71/1BAC949F7ED151562CD0925061DA_h400_w300_m2_bblack_q100_p100_cEsTrapkI.jpg" width="240" /></a> <a href="http://images.starpulse.com/pictures/2009/07/25/previews/Kelly%20Rowland-PRN-042045.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.starpulse.com/pictures/2009/07/25/previews/Kelly%20Rowland-PRN-042045.jpg" width="198" /></a><br />
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With the addition of a complimentary color, Kelly's skin color comes alive! Also, it is important to note the shades of yellow, orange, pink, white, and red that work with her brown skin. For instance, certain shades of purple may not flatter her as well as other shades. See the example below:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEiPYoMoeodPhqRDX4Ho5R8nblxntWcofNQL23CaZol9GqCJu9-kPDs1PY0OLrxtF4aa50yIB8th28RpjQyzQgYCZ_Aqqm4E4_eMBM4fdUV4B1msriGBUlUVkfRI2pwr7J1dck8WBKa-5-CocAlx-wWQlfrWkP6gV2KTcEhsCut9kAISIAYLswUwPIYjlUWxbO9wWSYh7_eUJqs=" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEiPYoMoeodPhqRDX4Ho5R8nblxntWcofNQL23CaZol9GqCJu9-kPDs1PY0OLrxtF4aa50yIB8th28RpjQyzQgYCZ_Aqqm4E4_eMBM4fdUV4B1msriGBUlUVkfRI2pwr7J1dck8WBKa-5-CocAlx-wWQlfrWkP6gV2KTcEhsCut9kAISIAYLswUwPIYjlUWxbO9wWSYh7_eUJqs=" width="225" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE5dadGqwrjsITf6Q0sKiafAsYaakefxDhIVfPw6SAqU5xhuQO_FN_xBkfcgQ2OwI_M-GlQua1EhD6CGDd0XwxVCjlSObcLZ_UlDv2XdjDFteV_TvhGByaG5ipPJ4gBvJUQdNgNyboIY/s400/Kelly.Rowland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE5dadGqwrjsITf6Q0sKiafAsYaakefxDhIVfPw6SAqU5xhuQO_FN_xBkfcgQ2OwI_M-GlQua1EhD6CGDd0XwxVCjlSObcLZ_UlDv2XdjDFteV_TvhGByaG5ipPJ4gBvJUQdNgNyboIY/s320/Kelly.Rowland.jpg" width="186" /></a><br />
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I would say the 2nd purple dress flatters Kelly more than the deep wine colored dress. Both dresses are pretty, but the coloring of the fabric closest to the face can make her stand out or get lost in the background. What are some of the steps you take as young bw determined to live well, to enhance your unique beauty?</div>
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<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "http://images-onepick-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?container=onepick&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essence.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2Fembed%2Fkelly-rowland-purple-300-sash.jpg" with "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEiPYoMoeodPhqRDX4Ho5R8nblxntWcofNQL23CaZol9GqCJu9-kPDs1PY0OLrxtF4aa50yIB8th28RpjQyzQgYCZ_Aqqm4E4_eMBM4fdUV4B1msriGBUlUVkfRI2pwr7J1dck8WBKa-5-CocAlx-wWQlfrWkP6gV2KTcEhsCut9kAISIAYLswUwPIYjlUWxbO9wWSYh7_eUJqs=" -->Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-26780340318932207262012-10-03T17:20:00.000-04:002012-10-03T17:20:49.659-04:00A Word of Warning for YoungBW Determined to Live Well<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Hello Lovely Ladies!</span></b> I know it has been a long time since I last posted, but I do hope some of you still <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">take advantage of previous posts, and frequent the blogs listed to the left</span></b>. There are so many <b>wonderful and insightful postings coming from talented black women bloggers</b>! Reading them has certainly inspired and encouraged me to keep at my goals of Living Well. I am currently pursuing a graduate degree and have encountered new and interesting people that also attend the school. Some of these new and interesting people are young black women. At some point, the conversation between myself and a group of black women came to the topic of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>out of wedlock children. </b></span>I had expressed <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><i>the belief that children born in a <u>healthy marriage</u> generally <u>do better</u> than children who are born out of wedlock.</i></span> Well, it apparently touched a nerve with almost all the ladies that were there. One of those ladies was a current single mother in her 20's, another was the product of a single parent home in which her mother was the sole provider and caretaker. Needless to say, <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">many of them went on the defensive because of my comment</span></b> and tried to provide a number of examples in which children born in a single parent home do just fine, citing high rates of divorce, and homes with parents that are not in a healthy relationship negatively affecting a child; you name it. Long story short, I simply tried to conclude the "discussion" as gracefully as possible by stating my comment was a reflection of the views and values I was raised with, and whatever views they may have that differ from my own are okay too (BUT, clearly those views are NOT okay in my school of thought). I felt a little drained from that experience as it was <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">deeply disheartening</span> to hear some of their rhetoric about women taking care of themselves without the help of a man. Moreover, <b>this is not the first time I have encountered a defensive response from black women about out-of-wedlock births</b>. Ladies, I am declaring today that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130; font-size: large;">I will not bring up the subject of marriage, children, relationships, or anything along those lines with these women. I will even go as far as saying, it is not in our best interest as black women desiring to live well, to bring up these topics with the vast majority of African-American/Black women. </span>These topics are largely shaped by the values we possess. If we don't share the same values, then our views will differ significantly. As a woman with the views I hold, I feel confident in concluding that the majority of black women I encounter do not share my values or views on marriage, children, and relationships. I was thankful for that experience. It reminded me that the circumstances surrounding the African-American community in general are quite distorted compared to the views of several other groups in this country, and it is my responsibility to seek out likeminded individuals with whom I can associate. I will continue to be cordial and polite in my dealings with these women (they are after all my colleagues), but certainly will not be including them in my inner circle of friends. They revealed a lot about themselves through their comments, and I am sure I made an impact on whatever previous image they had constructed about me initially. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Keep your views or goals on certain topics like the ones I mentioned, safely to yourself. ONLY share with individuals you have thoroughly vetted. </i></b></span>You have a right to believe in the importance of marriage, relationships, and having children within a healthy and happy two parent family. This is a key component to the Living Well Life I seek to create for myself and I would rather remain single and childless than compromise my beliefs. Keep moving forward on your goals each day, each week, each month, whatever works for you. Just be consistent! A little each time, goes toward getting you closer to Living Well! I wish you all lots of love as we continue on our respective journeys! Stay beautiful Butterflies! Ciao!Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-22647922691359611742012-04-21T21:40:00.001-04:002012-04-21T21:40:19.973-04:00Doing My Part!Hello lovelies! I hope that all is well with you and you are doing something each day that contributes toward your goal of Living Well! I saw this video and had to post it on the blog. It very much falls in line with a number of the things we advocate at Young BW Determined to Live Well. Enjoy and feel free to pass along.<br />
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<br />Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-26183999452563433252012-04-06T21:47:00.000-04:002012-04-06T21:47:16.717-04:00Google: Young Black Women, and what do I see?<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>While doing a random google search of three words in this order: young black women, I discovered a handful of other websites preceding this blog. The first website was the Young Black Women’s Society Inc. The next few were about a report on HPV infection lasting longer in young black women compared to other women (code for white), followed by an article titled “Michelle Obama gives hope to young black women” and finally, our beloved YoungBW Determined to Live Well blog. I sincerely feel that there has been a sliver of improvement if the first few websites on young black women did not immediately display a plethora of negative statistics. However, HPV is of particular concern to me as I am all too aware of just how it (including other STDs) flies under the radar when it comes to black women’s health. AIDS is a big concern, though I would vouch we do not hear enough about this, but HPV is subliminally deemed less important because, low and behold, there is a vaccine that proposes immunity to the virus if taken at an early stage of adolescence, and the perception that annual pap smears are a sufficient form of preventative care for cervical cancer, which originates from HPV.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> I am not aware of any changes regarding the vaccination being covered by a majority of insurance providers. I do know when I first heard about Gardisil, it was extremely expensive to take one out of the three required shots to complete the vaccination. Though I will not advocate against taking the vaccination (to each their own), I will encourage young black women to research as much as possible before introducing anything into their bodies. I say this not out of distrust for modern day medicine, but instead, a desire to see women of all ages taking an active interest in what happens to their bodies. This means, what we expose our bodies to, is of great significance as it could very well determine our prospects for a long and productive life in the future. Ask as many questions as possible regarding ingredients, research studies done to test the vaccine and their duration as well as the primary demographic from which the results of testing arose. What are the side effects and are there any that seem to affect black women on a more or less frequent basis? What are the effects of taking the vaccine if one is already infected with the virus and is their a preliminary test done to determine whether a patient has HPV before encouraging the vaccine being taken. There are many more things one could do to increase their knowledge about chemicals advertised to prevent prevalent viruses. Some of these questions I have asked gynecologists, and have been unpleasantly surprised to find out they don’t have answers. Again, this is not about scaring anyone. It is about self empowerment through the active acquisition of knowledge. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In keeping with our theme of taking care of our bodies, let us once again discuss the importance of taking extra precaution with our delicate flowers down south. Hey, as young black women, when you truly face the facts, no one is willing to take care of us better than ourselves ( and the QLL men and/or women in our lives already). Who we choose (and if you are not choosing, you may want to call that something else because it certainly is not intimacy, lovemaking, or what sex has the great potential to be) to have sex with is a decision that should be made after a substantial amount of vetting has taken place. Vetting, in my world, is inclusive of both a committed relationship involving exclusivity between myself and my partner, and knowing the most updated status on whether the individual has or had an STD. Who have you slept with in the past? Did you know their status before you slept with them? Were you comfortable enough to ask them to get tested before having sex with them? What was their response? Were they on the defensive about your inquiry? Would they twist your questions into an accusation of distrust? Think about it, a response to any of the former questions could be the answer to whether or not this person is even worth another nanosecond of your time. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Getting back to the findings of that study, I do wonder what could be the cause of young black women taking longer for the body to clear an HPV infection compared to white women? Could it be a result of having sex while infected with the virus, and being introduced to different strains? Though Gardisil covers 4 different strains of HPV, there are more identified strains of the virus that the vaccine does not protect against. A lack of knowledge about how the virus is transferred from partner to partner (HPV can be transferred by skin to skin contact with or without a condom and bodily fluids like semen and vaginal lubrication)? Could it have anything to do with the lifestyles of those women regarding the types of foods they consume, their frequency in exercising, their general self-esteem, their families and surroundings? A simple search on many diseases and infections for STDs and the like, do say that a healthy diet and lifestyle only serve to strengthen the body’s immune system. So many questions can be derived from this one finding alone. What do you think may be to blame for these results? I am not quick to believe it is just a biological thing though. Too many studies are quick to take this route and I am not having the usual okey-doke played on me with that one. This is however, my opinion and mine alone. Each of you are welcome to draw your own conclusions. What say you?</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-87320366810673407932012-02-16T19:45:00.001-05:002012-02-16T19:48:25.231-05:00Sending Love Your Way!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Hello to all of the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">Exquisite and Lovely Young Black Women Determined to Live Well</span>! I hope each and every one of you are busy taking the steps necessary to bring your hopes and dreams to fruition! While reading a recent posting from one of my favorite bloggers, another blogger was mentioned regarding young black women and issues they may face from being upwardly mobile in the global village. Please take the time to read postings (<b>I read them all!</b>) from this site, and find a way to apply the information to your own journey to living well! <a href="http://blackgirlsguide.blogspot.com/">The Black Girl's Guide to Everything</a></span>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-51372364120866532792011-12-06T11:16:00.000-05:002011-12-06T11:16:20.921-05:00Hobbies and Interests: Another Way to Bring Beauty and Positive Energy to your Life!Good Day to <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b>My Beautiful Young Black Women Determined to Live Well Butterflies</b></span>! </span>This post will be a short one, but one that I hope resonates, and inspires you to take action in your own life.<br />
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It all started when I decided to update my resume. I received sound advice from a professional African American woman who had graduated from an Ivy League Law School. She advised me to include hobbies and interests on my resume. At first I thought, "what does this have to do with my ability to do a specific job?." She elaborated, the <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">hobbies and interests, while not directly related to the position I sought, would encourage individuals to hold me in great favor, compared to a person without hobbies and interests.</span></b> So, I gave it a bit of thought, and wrote down the most recent activities I have taken a liking to. One particular activity I absolutely enjoy and would like to become exceptional at is Tango Dancing.<br />
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Take a look at the following video:<br />
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Doesn't this woman seem like the belle of the ball! Her posture, quick an clean movements, and the passion in the eyes of each man! I simply LOVE Tango! Okay, aside from Tango dancing, I am very health and fitness oriented, and I enjoy reading and writing. These are things that help to buff my diamond to a high gloss finish! And everyone knows just how difficult it is for people to look away from all things that reflect light!<br />
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Also,<b> the little things you do as a hobby or interest have the power to both bring you joy and light up a room when talking about it amongst others.</b> I can attest to seeing<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: blue; font-size: large;">the eyes of men light up</span></b></span> when they learn I know more than a few languages, am culturally and socially informed in a way that extends beyond the confines of the United States, that I love the outdoors, or maintain a healthy diet and fitness regimen. No kidding, their eyes really do light up! What's even better, I know that I have just skimmed the surface of things I enjoy to do. I am certain there are many things I would love to do that I still have yet to discover. <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">Imagine the positive energy you pull into your life when you occupy yourself with new fulfilling things that serve to make you a better woman and simultaneously act as Quality Man Bait! </span></b>A girl is literally and figuratively on cloud nine!<br />
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Try it if you haven't already ladies! Choose 2-3 things that you have never done before, research their availability or accessibility in your local area or nearby town and try them out. Once you have 2 or 3 solid things you would love to do,<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> keep pursuing them on a consistent basis. Strive to be better at them</span></b>. You will have a new perspective on life in general and another pleasant thing to add to your conversations with Quality Loving and Lovable Men from the Global Village!Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-53020399935324934712011-11-18T19:52:00.002-05:002011-11-18T19:53:14.054-05:00Oprah Knows What Time it Is!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I frequent the Oprah.com website every now and then for various reasons and found the following picture prominently displayed after clicking on the "relationship" link. Think about the kind of traffic Oprah.com gets on a daily basis. Now contemplate what message this sends to a multitude of people who visit the site. Yes indeed, it sends a positive message about Black women involved romantically with men of another race. What is more, this black woman is unquestionably black with natural hair and typical facial features of West African origin. Two thumbs up for Oprah.com. See the add for yourself <a href="http://www.oprah.com/relationships.html">here</a>.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.oprah.com/images/201111/orig/201111-orig-infidelity-quiz-serious-couple-bedroom-600x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://static.oprah.com/images/201111/orig/201111-orig-infidelity-quiz-serious-couple-bedroom-600x250.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-87428611347811387702011-11-16T21:57:00.001-05:002011-11-18T08:46:27.829-05:00Blog Post For the Evolved YBW: MUST READNo need for much elaboration ladies, just wanted to pass along the news of Ms. Khadija Nassif's "V For Victory"<a href="http://sojournerspassport.com/postscript-v-for-victory/">Read Post Here</a><br />
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</div><div>When Ms. Nassif stated, "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Ladies, rest assured that human nature—in the form of envy—will finish the job of saving those remaining African-American women who are capable of being salvaged. The motivational energy produced by envy is over 1,000 times more powerful than any sermon."</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"> I felt a sense of relief.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;">Because I am BW-identified, it really saddened me that there were so many unevolved black women who still refused the clear and obvious message from BWE writers and the work of Mr. Ralph Richard Banks. Thankfully, Envy, no matter how bitter the pill, saves the day. Lead by example. Live well for you, and the rest will undoubtedly notice, and/or follow suit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><br />
</span></div>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-3111472723098027262011-11-14T19:50:00.001-05:002011-11-14T20:54:01.274-05:00Ralph Richard Banks: A Wonderful Man Indeed!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1GFZTPKrs5Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
By now, you should already know of the discussions pertaining to <b>Mr. Ralph Richard Banks</b> and his book, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">"Is Marriage for White People?" </span>If you don't, feel free to google him at your leisure or click on the following link: <a href="http://ismarriageforwhitepeople.stanford.edu/">Is Marriage for White People?</a><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog.fabmagazineonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/banks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="http://blog.fabmagazineonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/banks.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Mr. Ralph Richard Banks with wife Jennifer and 3 sons.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, this man is saying have been the sentiments I have echoed throughout my last 2 years at University as an undergraduate. <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I cannot tell you how much I was ostracized and maligned by people within the African American student body (both black men and women). The very same student body I had dedicated my first 2 years to uplifting and supporting with my involvement in various clubs that had a predominantly African American membership and focus. </span></i>The backlash from the so called "African American (Pseudo) Community" being dished to Mr. Banks is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>no surprise</b></span>. In fact, I plan on personally writing this man a thank you letter for taking the time to do the research on such a delicate issue. What is more, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">he has done it from an <b>objective viewpoint</b>. One that does not come with loads of pre-concieved notions or ideologies about what is the "right" way for black women to lead their lives on the romantic front.</span><br />
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I have searched for videos featuring Mr. Banks discussing the book and am annoyed to say the least, at how many <b>black women are being vocal about the wrong things</b>. I have seen videos and snippets of black women sounding off on their desire for "black love," their feelings of insecurity and discomfort with black men dating outside of their race, etc. Could someone please <b>zip these women's mouth closed and throw away the key?</b> (mild venting about to commence) I cannot say it enough, <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">when black women like that become excessively vocal, it results in damaging our image as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">evolved young black women</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">.</span></b> I urge all to not be afraid to speak up about how <b>we as young black women determined to live well could care less about the love lives of black men, whether they involve women of another race or not.</b> We all know that <b>there is no such thing as a man shortage because we have always and will always consider ourselves to be a part of a global village</b>; a global village with an abundance of eligible quality men that are more than eager to marry women like ourselves. <b>We also know there truly is nothing to fear or feel ashamed of when it comes to dating men outside of our race</b>. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Our ancestral heritage loudly declares that our crowns have been paid for and we have every right to wear it with pride.</span> As Evia always says, Mate Out or Die Out! We as Young Black Women Determined to Live Well are already prepped and primed to MATE OUT.<br />
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Any chance or opportunity I get, I plan on making my voice heard, as <b>it is full time for women like us to show our views and how they strikingly contrast with that of the less evolved black women that keep us down with their outdated and self-defeating mentalities</b>. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><i>I stand firm in my belief that black women should always put themselves first no matter what. We are not mules, breeding incubators for black out of wedlock children, nor are we asexual bastions of the black race. We are women first, and with that comes the responsibility to ensure that we take advantage of every opportunity within our reach to lead fulfilling lives.</i></span> Solving the problems of systemic racism towards black men is <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">not our fight</span></b>. That is a process that will take decades if not centuries to undo. Meanwhile our lives should remain on hold?! I think not! People better get a clue quick. We are unstoppable, and mean business when it comes to our well-being. We are resolute in our convictions for success and steadfast in making it a reality. Keep on with the keeping on ladies! It's our time now!Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113093752803375257.post-83222034584486681882011-09-15T07:01:00.002-04:002011-09-15T07:01:35.067-04:00Estelle's "Thank You" Music VideoI plan on continuing with this post as I find there are a multitude of things that can be analyzed about why the artist Estelle and her "team" of people decided to go with this route. However, due to being pressed for time, I will make a list of several things that stand out to me after the first viewing:<br />
- The video does not show Estelle at all. There was a few shots toward the end of the video of what appeared to be a woman with a scarf over her head and hand shots, but nothing to clearly make the viewer say, she is in fact Estelle<br />
- The lyrical content of the song deviates from Estelle's happy an upbeat vibe when she first jumped the pond for America on the music scene. The song seems to be about a woman who is thanking a former lover for all of the pain he caused her because it has made her the woman she is. For myself, this bares a close resemblance to the "Woe is Me" mantra some people stereotypically find black women projecting in particular.<br />
- Perhaps my ears are not as keen to picking up on certain sound effects done to a singers voice, but I hear a little auto-tune when it comes to her voice in this song. Akon, the rapper, is said to have written the song for her.<br />
- I think the song sounds pretty cool, but I find it a very interesting move and maybe a smart one considering the American music Industry and it's historically complex relationship with black women of a darker hue.<br />
To Be Continued...and Happy Thursday!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/r40wCY8IIFQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Meenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05153292875412825998noreply@blogger.com0