About Young BW Determined to Live Well

After being a faithful reader of various blogs dedicated to positively influencing black women, I recognized quite a few young black women in their teens, 20's, and 30's who were touched by the message as much as myself. This blog is my attempt to reach out and connect with young black women on issues we may be facing at a very transitional time in our lives. I encourage all, irrespective of age, class, origin, etc. to participate in the discussions and brainstorming sessions we have. I look forward to the potential of this blog and hope to hear from Young Black Women Determined to Live Well like myself!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Karyn Folan's "Don't Bring Home a White Boy"

Hello Ladies! check out this 3 min. video!


  1. Ok. Interesting video, but as a BW I don't understand how some women have a need to go out of their way to look for someone to be with. I remember growing up my mum would tell me to marry a white man because he would take care of home....and that really threw me off & when I think about it now it still throws me off...makes me cringe really. My family & I are Jamaicans, both my parents are mixed, my family line is a melting pot, whether involved or married to someone from other Caribbean islands, thats fine & thats them. I'm at a point in my life where I'm tired of trying/looking to be a relationship with someone or even trying to get to know the person in order to reach that level...even with what happen to my best friend living with HPV, its the major reason why I don't make a move & avoid the move completely. Having an open mind when it comes to dating is fine, its not where I want to be at the moment. When you finish with school & your unemployed, you begin to think about your life as a whole, where you want to be, how to get there & how to make that initial first move. Getting to know someone is a whole other ball game that I'm not ready for. Its on the back burner. Working is my main focus.

  2. Thank you for your comment Olivia!
    You said:
    "I don't understand how some women have a need to go out of their way to look for someone to be with."

    I think I understand where you are coming from. Before I had exposure to dating for a purpose, I felt the idea of women going out of their way to look for someone to be with was quite insulting. It almost seemed border-line desperate. When I actually paid attention to women of other races, I noticed that they made a point of going out and associating with people, including men, on a regular basis. They may or may not have been looking for a guy at that moment, but by placing themselves in an environment where the chances of meeting a guy were likely,they were more successful at finding someone than those who did not. Now, there are indeed some women who do not seek to be involved with anyone romantically and that is their personal choice. I believe there is nothing wrong with this. I do know however, that women who are interested in having a relationship will make it a priority in addition to the other responsibilities they have. This may not be for you, but keep in mind that socializing with quality people often leads to numerous opportunities. This is something I have heard repeatedly while in college. Building networks and relationships takes effort. If you don't cultivate them, you could be missing out.

    I agree with your mother in the sense that you should marry someone who can take care of home. But, I believe this can be found in all races of QUALITY men.

    I also want you to know that though your best friend is living with HPV, it is not a crude circumstance. There are numerous people living in the United States who have HPV and still lead active and successful lives. Getting to know someone does not have to involve doing things that would place you at risk for getting an STD.

    I am currently in the position you speak of regarding finishing school (my undergrad), and making important decisions about where I want to be in the future. You are not alone, and I wish you the best in your future endeavors. This may be a time you feel it is necessary to focus on YOU only, and that is not a bad idea at all.

  3. Thank you for your comment Mimi-Louise-Love! By the way, I really like your name!

  4. Meena, Merry Christmas! :-) Your blog is wonderful, informative & beautiful. I really can't believe its that time of the year again. Be blessed, enjoy the company of family & friends. The New Year will provide new beginnings & opportunities for each of us to continue to stand strong! Ladies enjoy your day!

  5. I remember when I brought hubby home. :)My mom received him well, it was dad I was worried about. And he got all emotional and told me that hubby has a "great spirit and character" I mean the man broke down and my dad doesn't do that.

    Not too long after, I was wondering who was dating whom when it came to hubby, then fiance, and my dad. lol

  6. I read the book and found it really thought-provoking and engaging. Highly recommended.