About Young BW Determined to Live Well

After being a faithful reader of various blogs dedicated to positively influencing black women, I recognized quite a few young black women in their teens, 20's, and 30's who were touched by the message as much as myself. This blog is my attempt to reach out and connect with young black women on issues we may be facing at a very transitional time in our lives. I encourage all, irrespective of age, class, origin, etc. to participate in the discussions and brainstorming sessions we have. I look forward to the potential of this blog and hope to hear from Young Black Women Determined to Live Well like myself!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A "Thank You" to the Non-DBR Black Men

I decided to express a different viewpoint from quite a few IR blogs. If you are familiar with their general content, there is often much focus on removing young black women from environments that are predominantly black, and most often filled with damaged beyond repair (DBR) black men. However, I am writing this post in an effort to thank those non-DBR black men who do exist and who often prove to be a self-esteem booster when a young black woman needs one. For all of the "interracially-open-to-dating-men" young black women out there who have found it quite difficult to keep the gaze of a non-bm long enough to initiate you are open to their advances (meaning they simply aren't "going for it" with you for whatever reason, despite you giving them the green light), you know exactly what I speak of. Getting a returned smile, or a "how are you today?", or simply a compliment on how beautiful you look can come in quite handy especially when there seems to be tons of non-bm who are concerned with silently looking and not openly acknowledging or acting on their attractions. This may seem like I am venting, and in many ways it is a growing concern that I have for the young black women who have communicated to me, they have been giving the green light, but the non-bm simply allow cowardly behaviors or outright fear to stop them from acting on their attraction to a young black woman. Believe me ladies that I am fully on board with the women who are in fact smiling more, adorning themselves in feminine attire, and attempting to widen their social circles. Sometimes it can feel like an uphill battle, especially if you are very unfamiliar with this new territory. But leaving race aside, and focusing on our needs as young women, receiving a warm welcoming smile or kind gesture from a man is something that reminds us we are indeed desirable women and this is something that should be celebrated. At times it may seem like non-DBR black men are the main ones doing this (but them being lumped into the same racial category as yourself does provide a societal free pass to engage with us this way whether we like it or not), even if this may be the case, revel in the fact that your efforts to be the best you you can be have been noticed and keep on with the keepin' on.  For the non-bm who choose to stay silent, do not waste time on them. Those who are truly worthy of your time will make it known.

Wow...it's been a while, but I am back with your faithful REMINDER!

Greetings to the Young Black Women Determined to Live Well! It has been a very long time since I have written a post. I am now a working woman (with every intention of going back to school for further education in my chosen major!) and I certainly have had a taste of what it means to be on my own. I am writing this post as a reminder that many times, especially when you graduate and go directly into the work force, things can start to take hold of you and force you into monotony. I hope you all hear me when I say this, fight tooth and nail to get out of the cycle of monotony. I have had a few trying moments at my job that have truly given me a wake-up call and have forced me to resurrect my goals and dreams with even more fervor. I know that what I am doing is not the end all be all, and the more I remind myself of this, I do not feel the chokehold that a lot of young women feel their jobs have over them. I have seen the fear in the eyes of young women who are 10 to 15 years my senior, when it comes to losing the one job they have. My dears, please do not let this be you. Whatever you have learned in the past, know this, any occupation you choose can fire you "in a hot minute" no matter how great you seemed to think things were going. Unless you have spent a good while cultivating a dependence that your superiors will have for you, and I mean one that is strong enough to really have them thinking they would definitely be at a significant loss without you, you can easily be replaced. I understand that in this current economic climate, no one who is gainfully employed wants to think about plan B or C, and would rather focus on maintaing plan A. But, allow me to be the little birdie in your ear reminding you about the end goal in mind. You want to LIVE WELL, not so-so, not average, and certainly not paycheck to paycheck. YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO ESTABLISH MULTIPLE STREAMS OF INCOME. Obtain a licensed financial advisor in your state if you need guidance, open a Roth IRA and begin to put away little by little each paycheck. Open a savings account as well. If your place of employment has a credit union, join that as well. EMPOWER YOURSELF LADIES! DO WHAT YOU MUST DO TO LIVE WELL. Start moving toward that big dream girls! Even if you have to take baby steps. One baby step a day is better than remaining stagnant and simply imagining something that could very well be a reality if you let it. Remember, you are the most important thing to take care of, don't lose sight of this because time is of the essence. I hope this does not come across as me rambling on, but a little spark under our feet may put some well needed pep in our steps!