Sending Love Your Way!

Hello to all of the Exquisite and Lovely Young Black Women Determined to Live Well! I hope each and every one of you are busy taking the steps necessary to bring your hopes and dreams to fruition! While reading a recent posting from one of my favorite bloggers, another blogger was mentioned regarding young black women and issues they may face from being upwardly mobile in the global village. Please take the time to read postings (I read them all!) from this site, and find a way to apply the information to your own journey to living well! The Black Girl's Guide to Everything

Hobbies and Interests: Another Way to Bring Beauty and Positive Energy to your Life!

Good Day to My Beautiful Young Black Women Determined to Live Well Butterflies! This post will be a short one, but one that I hope resonates, and inspires you to take action in your own life.

It all started when I decided to update my resume. I received sound advice from a professional African American woman who had graduated from an Ivy League Law School. She advised me to include hobbies and interests on my resume. At first I thought, "what does this have to do with my ability to do a specific job?." She elaborated, the hobbies and interests, while not directly related to the position I sought, would encourage individuals to hold me in great favor, compared to a person without hobbies and interests. So, I gave it a bit of thought, and wrote down the most recent activities I have taken a liking to. One particular activity I absolutely enjoy and would like to become exceptional at is Tango Dancing.

Take a look at the following video:

Doesn't this woman seem like the belle of the ball! Her posture, quick an clean movements, and the passion in the eyes of each man! I simply LOVE Tango! Okay, aside from Tango dancing, I am very health and fitness oriented, and I enjoy reading and writing. These are things that help to buff my diamond to a high gloss finish! And everyone knows just how difficult it is for people to look away from all things that reflect light!

 Also, the little things you do as a hobby or interest have the power to both bring you joy and light up a room when talking about it amongst others. I can attest to seeing the eyes of men light up when they learn I know more than a few languages, am culturally and socially informed in a way that extends beyond the confines of the United States, that I love the outdoors, or maintain a healthy diet and fitness regimen. No kidding, their eyes really do light up! What's even better, I know that I have just skimmed the surface of things I enjoy to do. I am certain there are many things I would love to do that I still have yet to discover. Imagine the positive energy you pull into your life when you occupy yourself with new fulfilling things that serve to make you a better woman and simultaneously act as Quality Man Bait! A girl is literally and figuratively on cloud nine!

Try it if you haven't already ladies! Choose 2-3 things that you have never done before, research their availability or accessibility in your local area or nearby town and try them out. Once you have 2 or 3 solid things you would love to do, keep pursuing them on a consistent basis. Strive to be better at them. You will have a new perspective on life in general and another pleasant thing to add to your conversations with Quality Loving and Lovable Men from the Global Village!

Oprah Knows What Time it Is!

I frequent the Oprah.com website every now and then for various reasons and found the following picture prominently displayed after clicking on the "relationship" link. Think about the kind of traffic Oprah.com gets on a daily basis. Now contemplate what message this sends to a multitude of people who visit the site. Yes indeed, it sends a positive message about Black women involved romantically with men of another race. What is more, this black woman is unquestionably black with natural hair and typical facial features of West African origin. Two thumbs up for Oprah.com. See the add for yourself here.

Blog Post For the Evolved YBW: MUST READ

No need for much elaboration ladies, just wanted to pass along the news of Ms. Khadija Nassif's "V For Victory"Read Post Here

When Ms. Nassif stated, "Ladies, rest assured that human nature—in the form of envy—will finish the job of saving those remaining African-American women who are capable of being salvaged. The motivational energy produced by envy is over 1,000 times more powerful than any sermon." I felt a sense of relief.

Because I am BW-identified, it really saddened me that there were so many unevolved black women who still refused the clear and obvious message from BWE writers and the work of Mr. Ralph Richard Banks. Thankfully, Envy, no matter how bitter the pill, saves the day. Lead by example. Live well for you, and the rest will undoubtedly notice, and/or follow suit.

Ralph Richard Banks: A Wonderful Man Indeed!

By now, you should already know of the discussions pertaining to Mr. Ralph Richard Banks and his book, "Is Marriage for White People?" If you don't, feel free to google him at your leisure or click on the following link: Is Marriage for White People?

Mr. Ralph Richard Banks with wife Jennifer and 3 sons.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, this man is saying have been the sentiments I have echoed throughout my last 2 years at University as an undergraduate. I cannot tell you how much I was ostracized and maligned by people within the African American student body (both black men and women). The very same student body I had dedicated my first 2 years to uplifting and supporting with my involvement in various clubs that had a predominantly African American membership and focus. The backlash from the so called "African American (Pseudo) Community" being dished to Mr. Banks is no surprise. In fact, I plan on personally writing this man a thank you letter for taking the time to do the research on such a delicate issue. What is more, he has done it from an objective viewpoint. One that does not come with loads of pre-concieved notions or ideologies about what is the "right" way for black women to lead their lives on the romantic front.

I have searched for videos featuring Mr. Banks discussing the book and am annoyed to say the least, at how many black women are being vocal about the wrong things. I have seen videos and snippets of black women sounding off on their desire for "black love," their feelings of insecurity and discomfort with black men dating outside of their race, etc. Could someone please zip these women's mouth closed and throw away the key?  (mild venting about to commence) I cannot say it enough, when black women like that become excessively vocal, it results in damaging our image as evolved young black women. I urge all to not be afraid to speak up about how we as young black women determined to live well could care less about the love lives of black men, whether they involve women of another race or not. We all know that there is no such thing as a man shortage because we have always and will always consider ourselves to be a part of a global village; a global village with an abundance of eligible quality men that are more than eager to marry women like ourselves. We also know there truly is nothing to fear or feel ashamed of when it comes to dating men outside of our race. Our ancestral heritage loudly declares that our crowns have been paid for and we have every right to wear it with pride. As Evia always says, Mate Out or Die Out! We as Young Black Women Determined to Live Well are already prepped and primed to MATE OUT.

Any chance or opportunity I get, I plan on making my voice heard, as it is full time for women like us to show our views and how they strikingly contrast with that of the less evolved black women that keep us down with their outdated and self-defeating mentalities. I stand firm in my belief that black women should always put themselves first no matter what. We are not mules, breeding incubators for black out of wedlock children, nor are we asexual bastions of the black race. We are women first, and with that comes the responsibility to ensure that we take advantage of every opportunity within our reach to lead fulfilling lives. Solving the problems of systemic racism towards black men is not our fight. That is a process that will take decades if not centuries to undo. Meanwhile our lives should remain on hold?! I think not! People better get a clue quick. We are unstoppable, and mean business when it comes to our well-being. We are resolute in our convictions for success and steadfast in making it a reality. Keep on with the keeping on ladies! It's our time now!

Estelle's "Thank You" Music Video

I plan on continuing with this post as I find there are a multitude of things that can be analyzed about why the artist Estelle and her "team" of people decided to go with this route. However, due to being pressed for time, I will make a list of several things that stand out to me after the first viewing:
- The video does not show Estelle at all. There was a few shots toward the end of the video of what appeared to be a woman with a scarf over her head and hand shots, but nothing to clearly make the viewer say, she is in fact Estelle
- The lyrical content of the song deviates from Estelle's happy an upbeat vibe when she first jumped the pond for America on the music scene. The song seems to be about a woman who is thanking a former lover for all of the pain he caused her because it has made her the woman she is. For myself, this bares a close resemblance to the "Woe is Me" mantra some people stereotypically find black women projecting in particular.
- Perhaps my ears are not as keen to picking up on certain sound effects done to a singers voice, but I hear a little auto-tune when it comes to her voice in this song. Akon, the rapper, is said to have written the song for her.
- I think the song sounds pretty cool, but I find it a very interesting move and maybe a smart one considering the American music Industry and it's historically complex relationship with black women of a darker hue.
To Be Continued...and Happy Thursday!

Free Birth Control: How does this affect Young BW and Girls

     This morning while doing my workout of the day, I left my television on CNN. The topic of discussion was free birth control starting August 1, 2012. According to the report, not only is the government making birth control free (meaning no co-payments in addition to the insurance one already has), but also free screenings for gestational diabetes, free screenings for HPV (the human papillomavirus), breastfeeding support, and counseling on sexually transmitted diseases. Read the article at CNN here or see the PDF document of the entire Compilation of Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act here.
      I attended a religious institution and do have friends of certain groups that do not endorse this provision. However, I have always been an advocate of methods that I believe help women exert agency over their lives in some way or another. While practicing abstinence is the absolute best way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy (and a sexually transmitted disease), I do feel that women in our country today, should also have a right to the type of life they choose to lead. If this involves being sexually active, then being able to do so without the worry of becoming pregnant with a child that one does not want, is better than the lack of choice in carrying the pregnancy to term, potentially seeking an abortion that could jeopardize one's health and/or ability to conceive at a later time in life, putting one's child up for adoption, or in an already overcrowded foster care system.
      Because I am black-woman-identified (BW First), my initial reaction to the broadcast was to think about how this new Act would affect the millions of young black woman living in the United States. As we are all aware, there is a disproportionately large number of children being born out of wedlock in predominantly black residential areas. I would venture to say, a lot of these children were not carefully planned, and perhaps were not wanted by their mothers in the first place, given their respective circumstances. Now, there is no way you or myself can determine conclusively whether or not these young black women had access to birth control at the time they were sexually active, but let us look at what we do know:
- Birth Control currently costs money, for the insured and the uninsured.
- Young BW, on a whole, do not comprise a financially stable or wealthy portion of the African American population
- Young BW are often living in areas where they are exposed to sexual images, language, and advances from male groups that are often hyper-sexual in nature.
- Young BW live in predominantly black residential areas where the idea of a girl or young woman getting pregnant after a few sexual encounters (consensual or not) is not uncommon and in some cases regarded as a normal and perfectly acceptable occurrence in life.
- Young BW who do get pregnant and carry the child to term often become and remain single-mothers for a very long time (in other words, the male who took equal part in creating the child, does not stay around on a consistent basis to help raise the child with the mother)
- Young BW (and other groups of women) who are single parents, often lead a life of financial burden and limitations (with or without the assistance of government aid)

CAN WE SEE A CONNECTION HERE...

An unwanted pregnancy is not a joyous affair for a young mother, irrespective of race, because it can be extremely taxing on the woman for the rest of her life. For this to happen to a Young BW is deeply unsettling to me. If these Young BW are able to acquire health insurance that will allow them access to birth control, coupled with a 0 copayment according to what this new Act is declaring, the lives of Young BW have the opportunity to fully pursue their interests and endeavors without the hindrance of raising a child. Can one even begin to imagine how much free access to birth control on a consistent basis for a Young BW could serve to remedy the high rates of black children raised in already strained households, government spending on programs, even our image as Young BW living in the U.S. The sky is the limit for Young BW who are able to dedicate 100% of their effort and time toward self-improvement, education, etc. How about how this could affect their health and that of older black women who often help their daughters in raising the out of wedlock child. This is definitely food for thought.