A "Thank You" to the Non-DBR Black Men

I decided to express a different viewpoint from quite a few IR blogs. If you are familiar with their general content, there is often much focus on removing young black women from environments that are predominantly black, and most often filled with damaged beyond repair (DBR) black men. However, I am writing this post in an effort to thank those non-DBR black men who do exist and who often prove to be a self-esteem booster when a young black woman needs one. For all of the "interracially-open-to-dating-men" young black women out there who have found it quite difficult to keep the gaze of a non-bm long enough to initiate you are open to their advances (meaning they simply aren't "going for it" with you for whatever reason, despite you giving them the green light), you know exactly what I speak of. Getting a returned smile, or a "how are you today?", or simply a compliment on how beautiful you look can come in quite handy especially when there seems to be tons of non-bm who are concerned with silently looking and not openly acknowledging or acting on their attractions. This may seem like I am venting, and in many ways it is a growing concern that I have for the young black women who have communicated to me, they have been giving the green light, but the non-bm simply allow cowardly behaviors or outright fear to stop them from acting on their attraction to a young black woman. Believe me ladies that I am fully on board with the women who are in fact smiling more, adorning themselves in feminine attire, and attempting to widen their social circles. Sometimes it can feel like an uphill battle, especially if you are very unfamiliar with this new territory. But leaving race aside, and focusing on our needs as young women, receiving a warm welcoming smile or kind gesture from a man is something that reminds us we are indeed desirable women and this is something that should be celebrated. At times it may seem like non-DBR black men are the main ones doing this (but them being lumped into the same racial category as yourself does provide a societal free pass to engage with us this way whether we like it or not), even if this may be the case, revel in the fact that your efforts to be the best you you can be have been noticed and keep on with the keepin' on.  For the non-bm who choose to stay silent, do not waste time on them. Those who are truly worthy of your time will make it known.