About Young BW Determined to Live Well

After being a faithful reader of various blogs dedicated to positively influencing black women, I recognized quite a few young black women in their teens, 20's, and 30's who were touched by the message as much as myself. This blog is my attempt to reach out and connect with young black women on issues we may be facing at a very transitional time in our lives. I encourage all, irrespective of age, class, origin, etc. to participate in the discussions and brainstorming sessions we have. I look forward to the potential of this blog and hope to hear from Young Black Women Determined to Live Well like myself!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Grass Being Greener on the Other Side

Greetings Butterflies!

I trust all is well and underway for each of you in creating the living well lifestyle you desire. I read a recent post on Beyond Black & White Titled: "Shore to Shore: Is Dating for Black Women across the Atlantic Really that Different? (Find out from Someone Living There)"

In the first paragraph the author states:
"The eccentric, open-minded and tolerant reputation of the British is, in general, accurate...
However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else. "

I beg to differ. Being approached, asked on a date, or simply being able to have a nice conversation in the initial stages of attraction is more likely to occur in Europe rather than the USA. I would go so far as to say the online dating in Europe (UK inclusive) is better than several states in the U.S. While U.S. dating for Black women does happen, the ease at which it happens is not the same as what I can attest to experiencing in the UK.

I am not denying the reality of what this author experienced. However, some of the commenters made a lot of good points about how the Black women in the UK and by extension black women in Europe may hold the key to having better luck. 

One commenter spoke about their observations as an outsider living in London for a few years. Many of the observations they stated about the black women who were partnered and the black women who were not, ring true to what I saw. 

You are free to read the article if you choose. However, I hold steadfast to the realities of more than enough black women from the U.S. or abroad who have gone to Europe and found love with the quickness! If not love, they certainly were not wanting for dates. Ladies, if Europe is in your heart as one of the potential places to meet men who are attractive and who value your features as a black woman, do not let this post get you down. A lot of the headaches black women in the U.S. face (unwillingness to challenge and fight back against the denigration of our image, over indulgence of denigrating music that perpetuates our erasure, and the general stigma of being associated with bm who the world over have not done well by their group) are what black women in U.K. face.  Perhaps the author should take a page out of our book, and reinvent herself as a tourist in her own city. Play the part, act like one, dress like one (the brits in my opinion wear too many dark colors, and girls are rocking the very non-feminine androgynous look), smile at the non-black guys, flirt things up, etc. One last thing, you ladies who are already across the pond have a much more affordable plane ticked to travel around Europe. A flight from US to UK is always over 1000K.  Take advantage of it. There are certainly other places to find men in the entire continent that love you just the way you are.  Till next time Lovelies!

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