Hello Ladies, I hope you all are still out there, my apologies for the delay in posting. I have been hard at work not only in classes, but in making preparations for life after college. I would like to encourage you all to read the recent postings at Khadija's blog, Muslim Bushido. http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-its-important-to-have-dating.html
THE LINK I HAVE JUST POSTED IS A PORTION OF SOME OF THE CRITICAL INFORMATION MANY OF US AS YOUNG BLACK WOMEN FACE. PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS POSTING IN PARTICULAR. I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO POST SOME OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES THAT ADDRESS THE TOPIC OF DATING IN COLLEGE.
Now, I am going to share. One of the reasons I am doing this is because as my 4th year in college proceeds, many of the same sentiments I have had for a while have never left me and continue to creep up and bring me much discomfort. I honestly feel attending the U of___ was a mistake. I can barely talk about my experience here because of how much it hurts to look back on all that I went through mentally and emotionally while living here. For the most part, I spent my time here dateless and unhappy. I carry the prestige and name forever, but if I had the opportunity to do it again. I wouldn't. In some instances, I FEEL ROBBED. I researched as much as I could and spoke with students of color from ___ on the phone to get a feel for what to expect. I don't believe they told me the truth at all. Not one. It was a living hell here for my first three years. It continues to be a living hell, although I have no expectations of it being anything but, which in most cases makes it tolerable. Too stifling to really spread my wings and just BE. It is a fight to stay alive as a young progressive and open to interracial dating black woman here. I am thankful of it being the final time I have to set foot on this campus, but deep down I felt this place never really appreciated me. I obviously can't do anything about the past, but I am telling this story to let you all know how important it is to do everything in your power to live well every step of the way. Yes, we are "young" but when time goes, it goes. There is nothing you can do to get it back. For the young women who are still in high school and beginning to apply for college, try to visit these Universities while they are in session. Find out what kind of clubs or support groups they have on campus that cater to black women. Speak with female faculty, and if they are black female faculty, ask about their involvement with the student body. For the ladies beginning their first or second year of college, get out there and be a part of different non-black oriented clubs. The goal is not only for you to see new things, but I sure know I want the non-black men to see you too. To the ladies finishing up their college years, maintain those bonds and contacts that have supported you the most and seek places in or out of the country that are safe and foster an environment that allows you to meet men and women of high caliber. This experience has certainly taught me lessons I will never forget, but it doesn't have to be this way for you. If any of you are curious as to which University I spoke of, let me know.
About Young BW Determined to Live Well
After being a faithful reader of various blogs dedicated to positively influencing black women, I recognized quite a few young black women in their teens, 20's, and 30's who were touched by the message as much as myself. This blog is my attempt to reach out and connect with young black women on issues we may be facing at a very transitional time in our lives. I encourage all, irrespective of age, class, origin, etc. to participate in the discussions and brainstorming sessions we have. I look forward to the potential of this blog and hope to hear from Young Black Women Determined to Live Well like myself!