About Young BW Determined to Live Well

After being a faithful reader of various blogs dedicated to positively influencing black women, I recognized quite a few young black women in their teens, 20's, and 30's who were touched by the message as much as myself. This blog is my attempt to reach out and connect with young black women on issues we may be facing at a very transitional time in our lives. I encourage all, irrespective of age, class, origin, etc. to participate in the discussions and brainstorming sessions we have. I look forward to the potential of this blog and hope to hear from Young Black Women Determined to Live Well like myself!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

How bad do you really want it?

Greetings to all of the gracious and pulchritudinous young black women out there! I wanted to address something in this post that I had briefly discussed in an earlier post. On our journey to living well, some of us may have a lot to deal with in terms of people around us making poor decisions. These decisions result in actions that reflect poor expectations of themselves, and their poor expectations (if any at all) of you. Ultimately, this begins to chisel away at the hard work we put in toward moving us closer to realizing our goal of living well.

I need no convincing when it comes to the possibility that some black women, young and old, are simply not aware of the poor choices they make on a daily basis that not only interfere with their financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual life, but hinder their progress in establishing a fulfilling love life for themselves as well. Have you ever been the one to point out in clear daylight just how and where these women are messing up? Have you ever been the one to try and show them another way, one which would yield better returns on their investments (as Evia says), and instead of being given a gracious thank you, you are met with complete indifference and/or defensive behavior. Have you been told to just stay out of other people’s business? Well my darlings, I think you all should take a tip from the unfortunate and delusional women of the world. Just don’t bother giving them anymore of your time or advice. Avoid those topics of conversation at all costs. If you can, avoid those women, or at least reduce the amount of time spent communicating with them.

Several BWE bloggers have stated that not every black woman out there will live well. I whole-heartedly believe this to be true of young black women also. Even if this is the best time for those young women to wake up from the drunken stupor of anti-life enhancing choices, just leave them there. The difficult part for some of you is that some of these women used to be your closest comrades at one point or another; some of you are connected to these women by familial ties. You have to make a choice that does not involve sitting patiently on the sidelines until these women come around to their God-given senses. Yes ladies, you have to cut them off. That which does not help you go further in your efforts to live well, is not worth having around. Now, some of you may disagree with me. To that, I ask one question. How bad do you really want to live well? It may not be for everybody. Perhaps you should give some serious thought to whether or not you are ready for something bigger and better than you ever thought possible...perhaps that's the problem. One must first believe living well IS possible. I am someone that does not like the idea of limiting ME in any way. I am ready for the challenge. You have to decide for yourself if you are absolutely committed to living well, and then, you have to actively pursue it.


  1. Living well sure is a privilege and I agree if you have people around you who serve no purpose then they need to be out of your life asap.

  2. I used to get so worked up over bw trying to "stick it out" with no good bm just because he is black and trying to change them. Now I am just worrying about me...there's much less stress that way.

  3. Sadly, as you get older, people you thought you were on the same page with will prove themselves to be on their own (negative)path and you will have to distance yourself for your own sanity and safety. On the bright side, some folks will surprise you. They will mature and you will find you have shared values. And of course you will meet new people and it will be a relief that they didn't know you during your dorky awkward phases.
    Last night, my fiance and I went out to dinner with another couple who is ir bw/wm. She was on the rival track team when we were in high school. She has a 4year old with a bm she realized was never going to marry her and she has now been married to her cute husband who she met at work for a year. So yes, let the "unfortunate and delusional" women of the world sign up to be serial babymamas and high school drop outs. You can choose to surround yourself with positive people and make smart choices. Ignore people who call you bougie or whatever and do not settle because those people will not help you when you are struggling with some 'helpabrothaout' type guy.